


Aftermath of Red Sunrise

by orphan_account



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clarke Griffin Deserves Better, Episode: s06e02 Red Sun Rising, F/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 00:29:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18789331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It truly broke her heart, when she realized she lost him too.





	Aftermath of Red Sunrise

**Author's Note:**

> Just me venting. Bad English, lots of emotions. Clarke doesn't deserve this f*cking shit.

_It hurts_. That's the first thought on Clarke's mind right after opening her eyes. Every breath hurts, and when she softly touches her neck, she remembers why. Bellamy's cold hands tightly squeezing her throat, furious look in the eye and his smile, when she was desperately gasping for air. No matter how deep breaths she takes now, she still feels like choking.

It’s the middle of the night and she’s too afraid to go back to sleep. Psychosis might be gone, but she still hears the voice of her mother telling Clarke to end it all. To kill herself, to make it easier for everyone. No one can look at her anymore. Except for Madi and Bellamy. She used to believe that. But she was wrong. She was never so sure and so wrong.

Bellamy Blake. They’ve been through a lot together. Their bond was always unique, there were mutual respect and love and need for each other. He was the one to help her with pulling that lever on Mount Weather and he was the one to lead their people with her. She called him over radio 2199 times, every day for six years. He was willing to sacrifice 283 lives to rescue her. They were the head and the heart, mutually completing each other. Their relationship couldn’t be simply defined by one word or even hundreds of them. 

But it was no longer. Clarke closed eyes at that thought. It’s gone. She saw it in his eyes. Hate. Psychosis only revealed how he feels about her, it didn’t create that anger. She could’ve lived with everyone losing their faith in her, but not him. She couldn’t lose him. And yet she did. She wanted to scream. Yell. Do something, to let that disgusting feeling of helplessness out of her. She felt truly hopeless now.

She really tried to save everyone, to protect her people, to be a good guy. She did so many terrible things, she chooses to do them and bear them so they didn’t have to. All she got in return was hate, disappointed looks and blaming words. She was tired of that.

She could endure them. It was painful, but she could because Bellamy had been always by her side. It truly broke her heart, when she realized she lost him too. Clarke choked on her tears and her pain. She couldn’t breathe. It was just too much. She put her gun against her temple.

“I’m sorry, Monty” she said softly. “I really tried. I don’t know if there are good guys in this world, but I sure ain’t one of them”.

She took one last deep breath and pulled the trigger. Bellamy opened his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I don't think Clarke would really kill herself, not when she has Madi. But this idea was on my mind since watching this damn episode, so like I said, I needed to vent somewhere.  
> Sorry for my English. I wasn't even trying to correct my gramma, so if you see any mistakes, let me now and I'll try to correct them.


End file.
